Dancing on my own
by TheRedConverseGirl
Summary: In a journey in pursuit of redemption, he had never thought he would also find himself. Those bonds he tried so many times to cut, were the answer all along. If he had only listened when they called his name. (song inspired)
1. Prologue

_* Disclaimer: This is a fanfiction story, I don't own Naruto or its characters, unfortunately._

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In a journey in pursuit of redemption, he had never thought he would also find himself. Those bonds he tried so many times to cut, were the answer all along. If he had only listened when they called his name.

Even though great progress was made, he wasn't ready to go back yet. He knew he had to see this world by himself and make sure he was worthy. Worthy of walking this path, worthy of this second chance, worthy of all the unrequited love that was filling his dark core and cleaning its way through him.

He was miles away from home, and he could still feel the feelings that were sent his way. A dobe of a friend with an incoherent writing would send word every month on the dot. His monthly updates were filled with emotion, curiosity, requests and care. And by each word of his dear comrades, a light would feel a void inside of him.

It was more than contentment or a form of bond and therapy. In the end, he knew he needed that as much as them. His replies were always short and direct, but if they really knew him, they would know that the simple fact that they received word back meant something.

He would ask about their mentor, the village, and what was new in his best friend new life. He couldn't believe that dobe would be a father soon. That thought made him think of a certain cherry blossom again. It's the third month that her regards weren't included in the fox's scroll.

Long was the time he last saw their faces, her face. Is her hair long or short now? He can only wonder. Five years after the war, more than 4 years on the road. Yeah, he can barely remember their faces. Is it time to go back? Will they accept me even then? Will she accept me after everything?

There were plenty of nightmares still circling the lone raven-haired boy- now man - and they would sure hold his will back, reminding him of every poor decision made.

Not long took him to get a new scroll, and this made him excited to learn what was new. Inside he found the same rambling present in every update, however, the last one stung more than he could imagine and for a moment he forgot how to breathe.

How could he go home if it wasn't there anymore?

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This story takes place post 4th war. A few events are slightly different and I play with what ifs. All the important details of these differences will be provided along the development of the story.

Inspired by the song: Dancing on my own - Calum Scott

***English is not my first language, so grammar errors will happen and I'll do my best to re-read/correct/edit them.


	2. Home

**Note: italic lines are either thoughts or part of lyrics and sometimes both, as the lyrics can be interpreted as the character's pov.**

**Inspired by/Lyrics: **_**Dancing on my own (Calum Scott version)**_** *adjusts were made to fit the storyline /repetition removed*.**

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Arriving so late at night was the perfect scenario, for a former rogue shinobi to not be noticed in his own village. A place he left for a second time long time ago, avoiding good-byes, because he promised he wouldn't be long.

With the words still pulsating on his mind, he walked past those gates and wander to where he could find his last piece, his home.

_Somebody said you got a new friend..._

_Does he love you better than I can?_

This is the question that has been lurking his thoughts since that letter. Do I love her? It's the real question that he asked himself. If not, so why does it hurt?

_There's a big black sky over my town. _

Everything was so new, but it was still his village. The nostalgic feeling wanted to consume him, but not tonight. He wouldn't allow it, no distractions. This was his own personal mission.

_I know where you're at, I bet he's around._

He was now convinced that words could hurt more than any combat injury he had experienced. He could be in denial, he knew that, but he still didn't understand why it hurts. To think that her eyes would shine for another. He was a _baka _to assume this would never happen. How could it not? He's probably the only one to blame here.

_And yeah, I know it's stupid. (..baka)_

_But I just gotta see it for myself. _

It wasn't difficult, not one bit_. _He could track their four-men team from any distance. Her subtle chakra signature was intoxicating - _annoying_ really. At this point he didn't know if he hated it or if he wanted it to consume him more and more. This was a statement that he sure faced before and easily ignored without even blinking. He never needed distractions.

_I'm in the corner, watching you kiss him. _

His world is frozen, time is still. And he's not sure how to take what's in front of him. _Why does it hurt so much? _

_I'm right over here, why can't you see me? _

The emerald pools that he often visit during daydreams. He wished that they would be present in his dreams too, once the persistent nightmares were gone once for all. Those same emerald pools are so close now and unreachable at the same time. And this pain was as confusing as it was mysterious for the man that didn't fear a thing.

_And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home._

In his own way, he's giving his all and trying to understand what is this crushing commotion inside him. He didn't care before and now that he knows he's free of his lifetime annoying infatuated cherry blossom, _why doesn't it feel right? _ It seems that he of all people is late.

_I keep dancing on my own._

He doesn't need any _weakness, _he thought._ Love and feelings make people weak_. That's why he keeps on his own, _dancing_ his path of protector alone, so people can live and love and feel.

_And I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line, yeah._

It's so out of character that he even considers the bottle of sake on a nearby table. Maybe the liquid would burn him inside out and make him numb. Maybe stop feeling and stop trying to understand is the answer. He just wish this would stop as fast as it started.

_So far away but still so near._

_The lights come up, the music dies._

It might be a second, it might be an hour or few, he's still there, and the sudden change of scenario caught him off guard. The establishment is full dimmed, sign that is time do close.

_But you don't see me standing here._

_I just came to say goodbye._

And maybe that's it, he thinks. It's time to say goodbye, maybe this is why he didn't move yet. He had to see this with his own eyes, so now he could rest assured that she will be happy. But _why is this not right then? why does it hurt? _Because you're not_ the one making her happy. _He didn't know if that was the sake speaking or his clouded minded playing with him.

_Sit down in the corner, watching you kiss him._

_And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home._

He knew that her friends was probably walking her safely home. _Humf as if she needed any protection. _But his mind was making him consider things that he never imagined before. And he didn't like it one bit.

As they approached the exit and he could see her fully this time, he got mesmerized by her face and decided he had seen enough. No, he didn't follow them, it just happen that they were walking the same way. He took the roofs jumping and distancing himself.

And now that he had seen it, he wished he hadn't. As the night fell deeper, the clouds of thoughts moved little by little inside his mind, until it everything faded.

Even though he still couldn't fully understand or label what he was feeling - _maybe saying out loud would make it too real_ \- he knew for sure that she was _home_.

_I keep dancing on my own._

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**A/N: **

Hello readers! If you think this story has a future or is interesting, please let me know! I have a plot in mind but I'm still deciding the development. I think this would be a 10-12 chapters story.

I'm also thinking about switching point of views sometimes, to show both character's perspectives! Or maybe I can end the next chapter in a cliffhanger and name this a prequel of a bigger story :p

I don't know, I just felt like writing this after finding this music. I know that it's mostly sad and not pairing our beloveds (yet) but I feel like Sasuke has to feel/understand and develop his feelings before anything.

Maybe no one will read this at all lol. Anyway, I'm happy to put these thoughts into these chapters :)

_The Red Converse Girl_


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